The past 4 days were very mechanic for me. Basically I woke up at 6.30am and took a ride from Mrs Chan at 7.20am to depart for my marking centre. We had our 1st tea break at 9 or 9.30am, lunch at 12 or 1pm and another tea break at 3 or 3.30pm. The weather has never been so hot before! This is the first time that I could perspire so much just by sitting down doing nothing. And I actually developed a heat rash.
1st day: Marked 4 packs of scripts. We were released at 4.30pm.
2nd day: Realised that my partner from another school is a fast and furious marking machine. She was REALLY very fast but that doesn't mean that I am slow. She is way too fast. I think she's a workaholic. We marked 16 packs and ended work at about 4.30pm... exhausted and were released at 5pm.
3rd day: Marked 12 packs. Towards the last few packs then the CSM told us to award marks for one of the workings. So praise the Lord, we had to recheck every single script that we had marked for the the past few days. Finished marking very early and they only let us off at 5.45pm!!
4th day: Marked only 5 packs. Finished everything at 9.30am, went for tea break... came back stoned till 12noon and went for lunch. After lunch, stoned again... we waited and waited and waited. When I was off for lunch, other colleagues who went to other schools were already at home.. Then more and more people told us they were already at home. Guess what??! We were only released at 6.15pm. So from 9.30am till 6.15pm, I was actually not doing any work. I wasted so many hours sitting there doing 'NOTHING'. I really regretted not bringing anything to mark. I could have finished marking all my pupils' work. I read a book, listened to songs, took a short nap, chatted with colleagues and all... but still, I was frustrated on the inside. My facial and hair appointments were cancelled because we were released later than expected.
I wonder what is wrong with the people in the management. Last year we also ended at 4plus while others went back at 1pm. Why are we always the last marking centre to go off on the last day? Why can't they at least tell us what went wrong that we can't be released? Why aren't we improving? I felt like a prisoner yesterday. The only consolation was, I was in the same "cell" as my wonderful colleagues. Almost everyone in my room exclaimed that they want to go to other schools and mark other subjects next year. I am really "amazed" by how the management works. (Note: The management consisted of Ps and VPs from different schools.) I regretted not paying attention to who they were when they gave an introduction on the 1st day.
Yes, there was a change in the P of the school and I think the Group Head as well. The food provided was terrible and no mineral water was provided at all for the 4 days. I thought change is always for the better??!! They proved me wrong. Treasure who we have now, for they may be the best we ever had.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Friday, October 23, 2009
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Perfect Love Casts Out Fear...
It's been a long while since I last blogged. I was really busy every single day. Days seemed to pass by real fast when we are busy doing our own things.
Had a great CGM last Thursday and I think I need to pen it down for me to remember the encounter with God.
Recently, whenever pastor preached a great message during the weekend and gave an altarcall, I always asked myself, am I in the category that pastor is talking about. It seemed like, I am never in the stage that he is talking about. To put it simply, I am not in my UPS nor in my DOWNS. I don't go through trials or tribulations and I am not experiencing exciting great things in life as well. My life seemed to be on a standstill. There is a sense of helplessness in this meaningless life.
Last Thursday while we were worshiping God after the Word was shared, I was reminded of the feeling of walking in the will of God - time that my life was tough, challenging but yet I was positive and so full of faith and joy. Then as we knelt down in the presence of God, He began to surface that which had been hindering my Christian walk - FEAR. I had never knew that it was fear that was crippling me. Maybe subconsciously I do know that there was fear in me but I never really acknowledge/admit or do anything about it.
Since my great fall 3 years ago, I never really dared to love people as much as I used to. I am afraid of hurting others and myself. I am afraid to step out to try anything that has to do with God, which explains why I am still not in a ministry after so long.
After surfacing my fears, God told me to fear not for He is with me. What an assurance! How can I get rid of those fears in me and start loving people again? The Word of God says, "Perfect love casts out all fear." Only God is perfect and He is love. Only by loving Him and receiving His love will all my fear be gone. I want to try to love Him with all of my heart once again even though I had failed so many times. I want to try to love people more like how He has loved us. I want to be in the will of God again.
Had a great CGM last Thursday and I think I need to pen it down for me to remember the encounter with God.
Recently, whenever pastor preached a great message during the weekend and gave an altarcall, I always asked myself, am I in the category that pastor is talking about. It seemed like, I am never in the stage that he is talking about. To put it simply, I am not in my UPS nor in my DOWNS. I don't go through trials or tribulations and I am not experiencing exciting great things in life as well. My life seemed to be on a standstill. There is a sense of helplessness in this meaningless life.
Last Thursday while we were worshiping God after the Word was shared, I was reminded of the feeling of walking in the will of God - time that my life was tough, challenging but yet I was positive and so full of faith and joy. Then as we knelt down in the presence of God, He began to surface that which had been hindering my Christian walk - FEAR. I had never knew that it was fear that was crippling me. Maybe subconsciously I do know that there was fear in me but I never really acknowledge/admit or do anything about it.
Since my great fall 3 years ago, I never really dared to love people as much as I used to. I am afraid of hurting others and myself. I am afraid to step out to try anything that has to do with God, which explains why I am still not in a ministry after so long.
After surfacing my fears, God told me to fear not for He is with me. What an assurance! How can I get rid of those fears in me and start loving people again? The Word of God says, "Perfect love casts out all fear." Only God is perfect and He is love. Only by loving Him and receiving His love will all my fear be gone. I want to try to love Him with all of my heart once again even though I had failed so many times. I want to try to love people more like how He has loved us. I want to be in the will of God again.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
If only...
If only I am still so young and cute. Things in life won't bother me so much like it did now. Anyway, this girl is really cute!!! Thanks Kim! I love it!!!
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